i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
