HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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