New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
