i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
