Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
where are you?
Hypothermia
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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