Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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