So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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