is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
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Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
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Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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