It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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