It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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