It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
