I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
