Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
