So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
