Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
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