The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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