JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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