You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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