i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
