dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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