we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
