In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
