Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I could fuck to npr.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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