I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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