She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
