I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
