Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
