last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
