she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
