mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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