Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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