I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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