I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
