I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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