I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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