you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
