dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
