and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
