He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
