he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
