if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
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