I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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