you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
