i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Let's paint friendship bongs
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Randomize
