your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
