The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
