I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
