If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
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Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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