It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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