I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
