pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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