I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
