i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Who died my cat blue again?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize