I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
