i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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