when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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