I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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