you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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