Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
well you can't waste a boner
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
